you are just getting back into the swing of things. I have heard stories from writers and doc filmmakers about revisiting their purpose in writing or producing their pieces. They always ask why. And then re-ask it. Why is my favorite question. 

So why am I here?

The answer I will know eventually

But what about

NOW???????????

I am aiming to be a journalist with a visual and critical inclination «« but we don’t go about that on our resumes and cover letters. Some actions are better left done then talked about. And this is where I am: in between doing and being.

I know what type of journalist I can be.

I have set a new goal for myself. I never set my dreams to be associated with a specific establishment, but I believe I have found a place worth aspiring to:

Agence France Presse - a French international news organization. I saw a job opening that I was qualified for but I had not yet acquired the “command of the French language” another goal that had somehow ran the margin lines of my life after graduating from college.

Now I am 25 and I think it is time for me to dedicate myself to journalism, thinking, photographing and learning. I want to qualify to compete with the best and I am currently prepared to train hard and work hard.

I can do it. I can do it. i can do it.

I know I can.

Yonkers and beyond.

-b

I do not believe in god.

That being said, I am getting closer to believing, which is to say I feel a connectivity to what surrounds me and my past experiences.

Allow me to analogize…

I learned a word yesterday ::proffer:: I looked it up, the next day, the word came into play again after 24 years without a previous encounter… Has that ever happened to you? In little ways I believe that when you walk towards who you are, the universe gives you clues that you are on the right track if you look subtly enough to recognize the relationships between moments.

I still do not believe in god, but I am getting closer to MY beliefs … but I guess in some way we all are.

One month into the summer. I’m back on the ball again (mentally). Between graduation season at the paper, boys and fresh summer events anyone would get distracted, right?

I’m only Homo Sapien!

In the spirit of productivity, I have created a brainstorming board to visually keep track of my goals and projects, from research and development to fruition. I have this habit I am trying to break… coming up with an idea and not following through. I’m sure we can all relate, but I seriously have notebooks worth, at least 3, of concepts to work on ranging from articles, documentary ideas, and photo series. All need investigation. All need execution. 

G.O.A.L.S.

Out of this summer I want to flourish. Though I always want to be growing, the Sun is strongest during the summer months. In the fall I shall harvest. By then I should be ready to face the high stakes production world I am aiming for. All I want to do is

GET OUT AND LIVE SUCCESSFULLY.

If I share these goals with you, they will come true (cuz I’m not going out like no punk!)

To go BEYOND YONKERS is the ultimate goal. I want to see how far I can get…

These three words are to govern the majority of my actions.

Word.

Through words, lessons can be both learned and taught. I have much learning to do regarding life and society. Reading will get me there. Plus witnessing the way in which others assemble their pages will help with the construction of my own. And so, I have created a reading list that will help me in my pursuits of literary competence as well as a foundation of knowledge to build off of. I will have a dictionary by my side to aid the development of my vocabulary. 

If I can afford it, I’d like to take some writing workshops as well to help develop a story I’ve had in mind for years…

Film.

I want to work on documentaries of my own creation and that of others. It would be best if I worked as an assistant of some sort so I can get to learn the ropes before I venture out into the world… and while I wait for that to happen I will continue on my side project: Trials of an Athlete…

Photo.

Though the base of my photography is grounded in journalistic pursuit, I know that I have a visually creative side I would like to explore, mainly fashion/beauty portraiture. One of my long standing goals is to dominate billboards with my images. So towards that aim I will plan two shoots, one each month, as well as work with a few others on their projects.

But I will never abandon my love of photo essays. In fact I will work on ONE this summer, a project on the American roadway system (sounds riveting right? I promise it will be interesting)

Now I risk looking like a bootyhole if I share all of this and never get it done. But sharing may be the way to help call my bluff. Blogging the process may prove to be an interesting process… a project within itself.

If I manage myself properly I should be able to get this all done. wish me luck.

-B.

When we were younger, it was important not to get comfortable with people that we didn’t know.

Now, I recommend it.

Yesterday, I was hanging with my good friend luisa.

It is almost a year since we met… in the subway when I began my underground tourist photo essay last summer. While exploring subterranean NYC, I met a musician a playing there. I almost didn’t leave my card in her violin case. In fact, I boarded my train and went on my way… beating myself up for a stop until I turned around and looked for her. I got to drop my business card off and a few moments after I did, she closed up shop for the day and was gone. CLOSE CALL.

Had I never went back to drop off my card, I wouldn’t of had a wonderful yesterday…

We were walking across the Williamsburg Bridge, setting up shop to take pictures at the same landing as a pair of guys who were seemingly shooting a video. We acknowledged each other and continued in our separate realities. Finally, we all got to talking and then we got to shooting… together.. of course I filled to role of documentarian…

They turned out to be some chill dudes. In the blue was David Powers of NYC via PR and my kindred spirit with the camera, Derek from the midwest via LA. They were shooting a music video for David’s upcoming album. Creativity in the air. It was great.

Think of all the moments that we let pass us each day. Yesterday was created last summer… Imagine if Luisa and I never met, if I hadn’t randomly made a trip out to NYC last night, if we decided to chill in a park instead of the bridge or if we never got to talking with this dynamic duo. Imagine all those little decisions the four of us made collectively over the span of our lives thus far. Each of these moments adds up to the present, creating our experience of reality. And because of the infinite possibilities, there are now 2 less strangers in the world.

Then I turn around and see this man. I wonder what decisions he made over his lifetime and why he was carrying all these belongings with him? What made him go to the bridge that day? What was he thinking as he watched the busy people go? Where would he go after?

Think about the moments that created the life you see today, taking account of the good and the bad. Realize the string of events that created your reality. Are you happy with it?

So far I am happy with where I am. And though I eagerly anticipate what the future may brings, I know that my present actions make that future possible.

Choose wisely. Talk to strangers. Say yes to life and it will say yes back.

you never know when a stranger may become a friend.

I am coming to a re-realization of what my purpose on this platform is…

Since 2005, the flow of the www has redirected its course towards monetary gain, blogging and the subsequent aggregation of followers to gain money through advertisements.

(But, I’m not telling you anything new)

I began blogging for these reasons and to gain influence.

My first blogs were “The Documentation of Becoming a Somebody” and “Digest and Focus” a current events analysis blog.

But, it wasn’t organic. I wasn’t posting frequently and it felt forced. So I created this blog and my other blog, “I’m Still Learning” on Wordpress for when I feel the need to write about my post-grad life (of which I have much to add)

Now, I’m going to continue with the heart and spirit of “Becoming a Somebody” because on this journey towards success, I believe if I share my experiences I can inspire someone else.

We tend to ignore the small victories in life. I am on the road to becoming a somebody. Somebody worth citing. Though I know I have a far way to go, I know that I have accomplished so much already. For me, typing without eyes on the keyboard was something I didn’t think would actually happen, but I slowly trained myself and I am about 85% of the way there. I’m a graduate of the State University of New York and I am a working journalist. Though I look at others and feel terribly behind, I can’t focus on them, but concentrate on where I am and how to get to the next step.

If I can push myself, I can do it.

I blog so I can shine my light for the world wide web to see ( if they so happen to stumble upon me) I sweat this reality no more.

I will continue to record my own history because I can’t guarantee that anyone else will be able to do it for me. Now, I just have to get out there. But first a good night’s sleep.

Until tomorrow, I have so much documentation to catch up on!!!

love melissa bunni elian, a future somebody.

have been tiring, but also amazing. I had a positive 6 month review at my job. I know I am going in the right direction. This got me motivated to be more of a journalist rather then just a videographer.

I received my first solo video story assignment about boxing which is a sport I never really got into, but I approached it with open curiosity. In my pursuits I found a group of three young women who were finalists in the Golden Gloves tournament, which is the Super Bowl of amateur boxing. The fights were held in Madison Square Garden. It was truly an amazing assignment. 

I have this view on life that is more circular than triangular. Going to MSG during the finals of this tournament was a perfect analogy on how I see the world:

For me, society is a circle with varying rings of influence. At the center are the move makers, game changers: Artists, politicians, architects, fashion designers and in this case, athletes. From the center, the actions of these influential individuals reverberate to the outer rings, where most of us live.

While the boxers pounded defeat into one another, I realized my place in the whole scheme of things. It is the press who carry the events and messages of the center and share it with the rest of society’s outer rings. The press deliver opinions and facts and I, along with other press personnel,  reverberate reality.

I was more then a mere spectator. In that moment, my press pass granted me access to the entire atmosphere. I was with CNN personnel (I got to meet Soledad O’Brien!!!!!), heavy weight champs, (I was feet away from Joe Frazier) and all these other people whose lives revolve around the epicenter. I was so close to the center, I felt that I was at the exact place that I needed to be with front row seats!

This has been happening a lot lately and it really keeps me going. I have no doubts about where I am in life. I feel confident in the role I play because it is vital.

Knowing that I was in the same place as Soleded O’Brien, I knew I was doing the right thing and that I had made the right decisions. I got her autograph and we talked a little. She probably won’t remember me, but I will never forget. Hopefully I will get the chance to remind her one day. But for now, I will wash my face and go to sleep so I can dream of making the big times as a journalist and wake up tomorrow to make those dreams come true.

I can only aim and hope. Wish me luck!

Let enough time pass and a cop is destined to be killed in the line of duty. And this was the case for Officer John Falcone of the Poughkeepsie Police Dept. who was shot in the head after shooter Lee Welch shot his wife in the city’s train station. He then turned the gun on himself. Double homicide/suicide case. Because of him, the now orphaned daughter survived. (imagine growing up with that family history)

The funeral scene was surreal. THOUSANDS of cops from the Tri-State area had come to show their respect, a sign of support they no doubt would hope for had it been them in the line of fire.

I was surrounded by cops, a fraternity sworn to protects the strangers in their jurisdiction, with the constant threat that one of them may take their life one day. Imagine living your life suspicious and helpful at all times. This is why I respect cops and try to remember that they are just people at the end of the day. 

It was a sobering moment. I couldn’t help but feel how ordinary we all were, how we all played our parts to make society continue on its course as smoothly as possible.

Being a member of the press, it was the first time that I didn’t feel like a vulture waiting to pick at the bones of the deceased, which is ironic because I was at a funeral and that was exactly what I was doing. I knew that my intentions were honest: I wanted to share the sorrow with those who could not be present. I felt it an honor to be in that position.

The reporter I was working with, Terry Corcoran, said it best, “As journalists we have the power to affect public opinion, and we have to fear that power.” So for the first time I felt completely comfortable wielding my video camera while being surrounded by a group of people whose job entails suspicion of the press. 

I got the job done none the less. I treated the mourning with respect, smiled and politely went about my shift.

At that moment I came full circle. I was but a microscopic piece of the puzzle. And I felt completely at peace with it.

Rest in peace Falcone.

This was my fault. I was busy on the administrative side of the operation and I wasn’t taking pictures as religiously as I should have. none the less these are the images that I would have submitted.

College was the place where I found the courage to stick my camera in the faces of strangers

Where every moment was special enough to capture

simply for the fact that they wouldn’t last forever

memories of the greatest year of my collegiate career

The year I cemented who I was to be for the rest of my life

a documentarian

an artist

a writer

going boldly where others have gone before

but somehow, I will make it my own all the same

now that I’m on the outside, the world is my university.

until next time :)